Tuesday, September 13, 2011

TNA's 10 worst gimmicks

10. The Shore: Robbie E and Cookie were paired together with Jersey guido gimmicks in TNA's attempt to cash in on the Jersey Shore's popularity. The only notable moments were Cookie's catfight with J-Woww after Bound For Glory and Robbie E's X Division title reign, both early in the gimmick's lifespan. Less than a year later, Robbie became a jobber and Cookie is no longer employed by TNA, which shows how "successful" this gimmick was.
9. Black Reign and Rellik: These two are lumped together because they were a team for most of their latest TNA runs. Black Reign was a schizophreniac who put his rat Misty over his opponents' heads while Rellik was famous for this promo: "Eric Young, let me give you a preview of what I'm going to do to you to-knife(that's right). I'm going to drill a hole into your skull and suck out your brains with a straw!" (sliver/slurp sound) "Then I'm going stick my claw through your chest, and RIP OUT YOUR HEART AND EAT IT!(shouting) Finally, I'm going to poke both your eyes, out of your skull and stick em in a martini and drink it after my victory, the same martini I'm going to stir it with the finger that I bite off your hand, get the picture?" The announcers also mentioned constantly that his name was "killer" spelt backwards.

8. The Governor: In late 2008, Daffney, well known for her work in WCW and in the independent circuit, desbuted in TNA. Her first gimmick? "The Governor", which was basically Daffney impersonating Sarah Palin in an attempt to capitalize on the presidential election that year. Fake celebrities NEVER work, and this was no different.

7. Nation Of Violence: In 2009, Samoa Joe returned from a worked injury as the one man "Nation Of Violence". While he was booked as a monster, going through the top heel stable, the Main Event Mafis, throughout the first half of the year, this is seen as the low point of Joe's career. Why? Many reasons. His face was painted with a design that resembled a penis, he wore very baggy pants (that didn't work well for him), got a buzzcut (same as the pants), and carried a MACHETE with him. The image was what made this gimmick one of the worst.

6. Voodoo Kin Mafia: BG and Kip James, the former New Age Outlaws, debuted this gimmick on November 16, 2006, shortly after quitting TNA storyline-wise as the James Gang. As the Voodoo Kin Mafia, they shot on WWE every week for two months until they called out Shawn Michaels for a fight at "high noon", which predictably never took place, then feuded with Christy Hemme over their differing views of how women should be treated, culminating in a feud with the Bashams, and then turned heel.

5. Prince Justice Brotherhood: Eric Young, Christopher Daniels, and Shark Boy joined forces under various gimmicks to become a group of superheroes. Eric Young Was Super Eric, Daniels was Curry Man, and Shark Boy was Stone Cold Shark Boy. Their most notable achievements were searching for Val's wedding ring and being the judges for the talent competitions between Taylor Wilde and Angelina Love. This is an example of why cartoonesque storylines don't work in wrestling.

4. Orlando Jordan: In his TNA run, OJ was a VERY stereotypical gimmick of his real life bisexual orientation. Some of his antics included squirting white liquid all over his body, chewing gum and licking lollipops before trying to put them in So Cal Val's mouth, and wearing a diaper in a backstage segment. Most of this stuff was very cringeworthy to watch and did NOTHING to get him over at all.

3. Abyss- Mental Patient: In the beginning of 2009, shortly after his return from a lengthy absence, Abyss was featured in a series of backstage skits with "Dr. Stevie". During this time, Abyss developed a lot of undesirable traits, such as sounding mentally challenged whenever he spoke, having Lauren as his girlfriend, and clapping his hands during his babyface comebacks. They still portrayed him as a monster during this period when his character traits made many fans fail to take him seriously.

2. Big Fat Oily Guy: All this was was TNA's answer to Big Dick Johnson, a WWE obese male dancer gimmick who made cameos on Raw, Smackdown, ECW, and PPVs. Just as pointless and just as embarrassing to watch as the original.

1. The Power Of The Ring: On February 18, 2010, Hulk Hogan gave Abyss his WWE Hall Of Fame ring in order to give him immortality, like Hogan had in the prime of his career. As a result, Abyss started acting like Hulk Hogan, even to the point of hulking up during his matches, using Hogan's WCW theme as his new theme music, and the story based around the Hall Of Fame ring, from the RIVAL promotion, was often the main focus of the shows. So much wrong with this storyline and I still to this day wonder why anyone thought that this was a good idea.